Many of our addiction clients in Bountiful come to our offices with a long and complicated history with pornography. Use of pornographic material can start when a person is young, for some as early as age seven. It can feel like an ever-present force in their lives.
Many people vividly remember when they got the internet in their homes for the first time or the first time they discovered online pornography. It was electrifying, exciting, and terrifying, all at once. The feeling of being out of control and full of shame was present from the beginning.
Extended Periods of Pornography Use
As time goes on, most of our clients experience using more pornography than they intend, spending more extended periods viewing or pursuing porn, and more significant consequences each time they are caught–if they are caught.
The more those addicted to pornography use their drug of choice, the more worthless they feel.
Naturally, these feelings of worthlessness start to impact relationships and self-esteem–not noticeably at first, but it starts to be the ‘elevator music’ of their lives–always in the background and never quite as good as the real thing.
Of course, the amount, type, and frequency of their pornography use is a closely guarded secret.
“If people really know who I am and what I do, they will reject me.”
Immediately after a pornography binge the addict feels increasingly isolated, less comfortable in close relationships–Afterall, they are keeping secrets.
They know when loved ones discover the truth, things will get worse. It’s easier to pretend that things are normal than it is to admit that there is a problem.
Cannot Connect with a Real Sexual Partner
Real people don’t compare with the performers in porn. Some people can get to a point where they prefer pornography to real person-to-person interaction.
When you are in a committed relationship, this is usually a big problem! Some pornography addicts find themselves criticizing their partner’s appearance or performance in the bedroom and can have a difficult time feeling content in their relationships.
Secrets Don’t Stay Secret Forever
Eventually, it all comes crashing down.
Either a website is discovered, un-deleted from the browser history, somebody walks in on you, you lose a job for looking at pornography at work, or something happens that makes you realize you can’t keep living like this.
Discovery of a pornography problem is often painful. Immense feelings of shame can arise, and partners can be very hurt. There are often massive amounts of discomfort for everyone who now knows.
“Do we have to talk about this?”
“What does this mean?”
“Does this mean it’s over now that someone else knows?”
Being Less Truthful
With each discovery, most people will give the least amount of information they think they can get away with. They may swear to an employer, spouse, or themselves: “this is everything; it doesn’t go any further than this.”
In Alcoholics Anonymous, the saying goes, “You are only as sick as your secrets.”
Most pornography addicts come to the point, over and over again, where they keep getting caught being swept up into another cycle of abuse.
When they are serious about quitting, they get help. They reach out for support. And with help comes healing and recovery.
You can recover from pornography addiction too. Our Bountiful clinic is here to help you start the healing process today.
Moving from Hurt to Healing
When you call us for help, we will work to start understanding your specific needs and challenges. You will choose, or we will match you with a member of our team who is best equipped to help you.
Showing up for therapy the first time will be nerve-wracking. But don’t worry. You will find our offices warm and inviting, full of our knowledgeable and friendly staff who will approach you without judgment or shame.
You will start understanding the cycles of addiction and the specific ways that pornography addiction affects your brain. We will offer tools and help you develop skills to move in a path towards healing.
As you get more stable in sobriety, we will start to peel back the layers of the onion so that you can understand why you’re addicted to pornography.
Your life will start to change. You will feel differently about your relationships, your work, and yourself.
Your path to healing starts with a phone call.
Contact us today to set up your free 30-minute phone consultation with an expert on pornography addiction in Bountiful, Utah. Help is just around the corner; you don’t have to do this alone.
5 months with no pornography
“I couldn’t even imagine going through a day without thinking about sex all the time. I am feeling now that my mind can go to so many other things instead of just being trapped in pornography. It feels good to be living a real life.”
43 Year Old Woman
18 months sober
“I have no secrets. In my 43 years of life, I can’t say that I have ever been able to say that till now. It has been worth all that it took to get here, I wouldn’t trade my peace of mind for anything.”